Split in two?

Sometimes, I can't even tell what's real. I don't know if I truly want or mean something - because it feels like I'm sharing my mind with someone other than myself. It feels like I wasn't supposed to think this way. I want my own thoughts.

I don't want a second opinion.

Emotional Somethings

So when I want something I can't have - I deal with it. Usually. Unless I want this something so bad that I'll go to great lengths to get it, I'll usually give it up without making a huge fuss. Oddly enough, I can't even tell if I'll be able to give this new something up so easily this time.

I wish to, though. I want to grab a big, shiny hypothetical pair of scissors and stab away at all the cumbersome emotions that only make me vulnerable. Emotions are such a confusing concept. They can make humans act stupidly, irrationally, or even dangerously. But they're also what fuels the will to live. Just imagine - if only for a moment - a world without emotions.

What would become of the human race? Would we all go insane and run around like mindless animated corpses? Perhaps that is so. Would we even be human anymore? Is that what emotions are there for - to keep us human? What an interesting thought. Who knows? I will never have the answer to that question. No matter how much experience you gain in life, you will never find a suitable answer.

It is impossible to measure human emotion, and therefore, it is impossible to measure how much I really care about this very something, and how long it will last.

Foreign Words

My theory is that one day, love won't exist.
I mean - have you fucking seen what's going on in the world?
So much hatred, and so many lies...
Maybe there will be someone who still feels a strong emotion for another human being, but there will be no name for it.
Love? What the hell is that?
That's what's gonna happen. Because everything is just going to go to hell in the end.

An empty kind of thing.

I'll feel better in the morning.
I always do.

Bad hair day (month[s]?)

I wish I hadn't got a haircut today.
Because...
because it looks fucking stupid.

Drama Queen, much?

Ugh. Why am I always so dramatic? I look back on some of things I've said, or done, or even written, and... I get kind of disgusted. Or I shake my head in pity. Like, seriously? Is the self-loathing really necessary?

It's not.

Oh! And I'm hungry right now. I think I'll go have some fruit. Grapes and strawberries. Yup, that sounds just about right.